Single parents dating adult child response
I must say I’m not surprised about this, since in my private practice I dealt with many parents who had terrible problems with children who were over 18 and still living at home.
I believe this phenomenon has become a national problem.
If you’re dealing with one of these adult children, it will take all the strength and commitment you can muster to force this child to become independent.
I noticed in one of the responses that the parents thought I was telling them to throw their kids out. But I am saying that your kids won’t change until you do something drastic.
In the last twenty years, so many parents did everything they could to ensure that their kids didn’t feel discomfort because letting your kids feel discomfort was considered a bad thing. In many cases they let things slide that they knew were wrong. And what they ended up with is a kid who is not prepared to deal with the injustice, stress and discomfort of life.
I know because I’ve dealt with so many of these parents. Making a transition from adolescence to adulthood is very stressful, uncomfortable and difficult.
When you’re 18, 19, or 20 and all the things your parents told you are coming true—that you’re not prepared for the work force, that you should have studied harder, that you need to push yourself—it is easy to get resentful and blame and intimidate your parents.
What I will do here (and what I believe will be helpful for the most readers) is respond to the important themes that recurred within many of your responses.
It involves solving some very complex problems about how you’re going to live, where you’re going to live, who you’re going to live with, and what you’re going to do with your life.
Although many kids solve those problems in a non-destructive way, there is a sub-group of kids who still make it their parent’s problem and society’s problem and everybody else’s problem.
As the cost of living goes up, adult children who are not really prepared for the workforce have to make some sacrifices. I want you making three follow up phone calls a day.
Unfortunately today, kids don’t like making sacrifices and parents don’t want to enforce sacrifices. And if you verbally abuse me, you’re out of the house for 24 hours.’ Remember: Nothing changes if nothing changes.” A few notes before we begin.
In this forum, I will not address individual cases or parents.