Sexual spanking chat
Sex therapist Marty Klein has written, “The mission of sex addiction therapists is to put everyone in the missionary position.” Having come from the inside of the trainings and discussions, I can’t disagree with him.Nowadays, using the framework of sex addiction is the last thing I might consider when someone comes into my office struggling with out-of-control sexual behaviors.However, many people do all these things and never have a problem.* All too often, sex addiction therapy’s focus is on altering sexual behavior.It’s good to rule out things, but it’s also good not to assume something is happening without consistent supporting evidence.
* The definition and treatment of sexual addiction is complicated by values, morality, and religious overtones of treatment providers.* As our understanding of the range of human sexuality has expanded, many within our profession have ceased to pathologize certain sexual behaviors, recognizing that, practiced in safe and consensual ways, such behaviors often not only enhance people’s happiness and well being, but are neither “unnatural” nor “abnormal.” Rather they are part of the panoply of pleasure available to us as sexual beings.* The sex addiction model uses a widely used and widely available sexual addiction screening test, which therapists can administer to recognize areas that are “problematic” within their clients’ “arousal template.” Clients are asked if they have purchased romantic novels and sexually explicit magazines, spent time and money in strip clubs, have paid prostitutes, or even if anyone has been upset by their behavior.” We now know more about transgender issues and how normative it is for many straight men to enjoy dressing in women’s clothes and underwear, and how it isn’t at all humiliating for them.This therapist was using his own bias or belief system rather than the latest science to treat his client, and needs to expand his understanding and protect the client from his countertransference.
In the 1980s, addiction models were becoming increasingly popular, and the sex addiction model tagged onto that wave.