Online dating tips for men first email message
Here is my question: Are men ok with women sending introductory emails to them? In some ways, I see a email hello similar to a come-hither look at a bar, etc.but in other ways it seems very aggressive and therefore a turnoff to most men. Dear Jane, Your question brings up two of the most common mistakes that women make in online dating: 1) Waiting for Men to Write to You First 2) Telling Him What You Like About His Profile First things first: Men LOVE it when women write to them. If you have an attractive photo, interesting essay, and you’re in his target demographic, why WOULDN’T he be excited to hear from you?Whether it’s Match.com, Ok Cupid, POF, or Tinder, it sucks sending a message to a girl you really like and getting ignored.This is why most guys give up entirely within just a few months.You may be on his Favorites list but he hasn’t had the opportunity to contact you yet.So yes, Jane, don’t hesitate to contact that guy you’ve been eyeing. ” Presuming you’ve had a man write to you before, is it really all that interesting when he tells you that he thinks you’re cute?It’s incredibly frustrating and exhausting when you put hours into online dating and don’t hear back from the women you message.
Mentioning something yummy-sounding works just as well on dating apps.
There is nothing inherent about initiating an email conversation that screams out “desperate”. Where most women screw up that first email contact is by taking one of two approaches: 1) telling him how great he is, or 2) explaining why you’re great and why he should write back to you. Is there something particularly energizing in the phrase, “I think we have a lot in common”?
Is it really all that intriguing when he explains why he’s a good partner for you, even though you haven’t met?
Once you tell him how great he is, he doesn’t know why he should write back. But the tone of that email should be flirty, funny, and challenging – the same as the email from a man that gets your attention.
POSTSCRIPT As to HOW to do something like that, here’s a link to my Finding the One Online program, which spends a full hour explaining how to email people online. Evan, Can you give an example of what would be an effective e-mail for a woman to write to a man?
It’s a bit counterintuitive, but if your first instinct is to compliment him and explain your value, you’re not demonstrating that you have any value.